(Source: shitilovee, via hellowinternights)
(Source: haygirlhey, via gibb0ns)
one night two parents went out for dinner
a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room
the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue
when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers
(via nonoitakeurl)
(Source: audreywholockian, via dreamingwiththedemons)
(Source: weheartit.com, via heart-iseverything)
- Obama: Doesn't want to ban p*rn.
- Obama: Doesn't want to restrict your internet.
- Obama: Doesn't want to take away your guns.
- Obama: Supports gay marriage.
- Obama: Education for all!
- Obama: Universal healthcare!
- Obama: Wants to continue Planned Parenthood!
- Americans: You're destroying this country.
(Source: safecampaign, via chloedonald)
Today Alex discovered the hard way the penicillin I’m on makes me hyper whilst I sat in his car crying with laughter at everything
(Source: orionfalls, via hellowinternights)
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
- Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
- Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
- Man 1: but I'm not!
- Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: honestly?
- Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: probably Iron Man.
- Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
- Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
- Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
- Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
- Man 2: oh yeah..
- Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
- Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
- *awkward silence*
- Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
(Source: mochacafe.net, via princepotato)
(Source: weheartit.com, via burntheobidient)
What I’m about to attempt (Taken with instagram)
I am such a happy girl right now:
-covered all of the biology and done hours and hours of work feeling good
- might be going to sushi making classes
- exams are nearly over
- weathers getting better
- happy beth
(Source: shigg0r, via burntheobidient)
